


Speedrunners have finished Super Mario 64 in 6 minutes and 36 seconds Fallout 3 in 14 minutes and 25 seconds Final Fantasy VII in, err, 7 hours, 11 minutes and 30 seconds. Normally, speedrunning means playing a videogame (or part of one) as quickly as possible, most often using unusual techniques, tricks and glitches to skip whole parts of it. What follows is a version of the story, heavily edited from my notes, of how that happened. I wasn’t going to stop playing Broforce. I didn’t want to stop playing Broforce. I just needed a way to excite the pleasure zone that survives, reduced but insistent, in a corner of my brain. I’d completed it in every way I could dream up and still I was playing it, still chasing a chemical hit that was no longer attainable, hadn’t been for maybe half a year. It was nothing that was going to coalesce into me actually dedicating my spare time to playing the same game over and over again for no other reason than to see how fast I could get through it.īut I’d been cultivating a low-level dependency on Broforce for a couple of years. I’d appreciated the occasional Games Done Quick, enjoyed the odd race between Super Mario Maker 2 speedrunners, even daydreamed about the cyber adulation that I’d get with a super-fast play-through of the PS1 classic Urban Chaos. It was Broforce that killed my laptop, not me. If you like what you see, grab the magazine for less than ten dollars, or subscribe and get all future magazines for half price. Continued abuse of our services will cause your IP address to be blocked indefinitely.This column is reprinted from Unwinnable Monthly #126. Please fill out the CAPTCHA below and then click the button to indicate that you agree to these terms. If you wish to be unblocked, you must agree that you will take immediate steps to rectify this issue. If you do not understand what is causing this behavior, please contact us here. If you promise to stop (by clicking the Agree button below), we'll unblock your connection for now, but we will immediately re-block it if we detect additional bad behavior. Overusing our search engine with a very large number of searches in a very short amount of time.


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